Ain't no socialist conspiracy...

Mountain Meadow Massacre Lives On

So, I am working alot in Utah now. And since I am not Donald Trump, nor am I Beyonce, I don't have a limo, and without a limo, who needs a limo driver. (Note to self: Get rid of the guy in my backseat who claims he is my limo driver. Drop him off at the next Maverick!) So, since I am my "own" wheel man, I have clocked about 8,000 miles here in Utah since the end of September. And here's what I now believe. (A) There was a conspiracy behind the incident known as the Mountain Meadow Massacre (MMM) (B) I am pretty sure I know who was behind it (C) Because the posterity gene pool of those involved in the MMM are here, today, in Utah, and do in fact live on. AND ~~ I can prove it. Today, and everyday in Utah, there is what I call the Wasatch Front Massacre (WFM). Pause, background now: In 1974 and 1975 I lived in Tustin, California. It was there that I learned that driving defensively meant you would die. No, instead I learned very quickly that survival meant that you used your car like a weapon. A pre-emptive strike is crucial to living an extra day in So. Cali. My time there pre-dates drive-by shootings, but not drive-by drivings! It was kill or be killed! Mad Max, the road warrior, was before me, every single day while I lived in Southern California. So, I do have a knowledge that pre-dates my thesis on WFM! My sensory perceptions on this topic were only re-awakened, not something I had to grasp or learn anew. Unpause, background now: So, here I am in Utah. And it doesn't matter if these massacre'ists are driving a measly honda civic, or a MAC truck, they are laying in wait, no actually, they are proactively readying to kill you in your car, as you drive, in your car, as you park, in your car, as you pull into a SMITHS foods, in your car as you go to a wedding at ANY temple, they do not have criteria, I am telling you, they will kill you any place and any time! I myself have been nearly killed 17 times. And, I mean 17 times a day. The predominant mental(ly ill) driver, these drivers use is this; "grandpa killed him some folks at MMM, why the HECK (as in Oh My Heck) don't I do the same to protect my road!?" These massacre'ists aren't even as cleaver as the MMM'rs, they don't doctor themselves up to look like indians, and they don't lay in the shrub in wait until its time to lurch and kill. No, they projectile themselves at you in the name of getting to class on time at BYU, getting to church on time at the ward house, getting in and out of a Costco parking lot; you name it, death from these WFM'rs awaits you momentarily. Instantly! All the time. Actually, I think its best stated as "All the FLIPPIN' time!" But hey, don't ask me to validate this for you, go to any pre-introduction of "who are the visitors here today in any Gospel Doctrine class" ~ and as soon as you stand up and tell these Mormon folks who you are, and where are you from, you can begin to hear the murmuring, "I wonder where he is parked?" You might as well have a big red targett on all sides of your car, especially the roof for those stomper truck types (gun rack, gun rack with gun in rack types) who want to rollover the top of you, and as they do so, they yell out their window, "Hey how do you like the way WE ROLL in Utah?!" Grrrrrr, dawgone, good fer nothing WFM'rs anyway. So folks take it from me, the MMM was real, and today, the posterity of the MMM'rs are now the WFM'rs and you better watch out every single moment you are in your car. They are coming to get you! Trust me, you may wish to add a rider to your insurance policy; "Guardrail Protectant". It is the wild west here folks! Good thing the Church is true!