bigdogdano

Rowdy Boys....

2010-04-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

So, I have two grandsons, Macrae and Rhett. Brothers. They are so fun, light hearted and sweet boys, yet, they are rowdy! They are the youngest cousins, and will be until Keith and Jenny have their baby this coming early November (Go KJ's bring it on!) and these two marauders are so, so funny! I can't wait to see them driving cars, and making their parents crazy!

I have 3 brothers. Rick was born 4/51, Tom 8/52, me 3/54, and Rob 9/55. Lets do the math; Rick and Tom, 16 months. Tom and Dan, 19 months. Dan and Rob, 18 months. I used to joke with my dad that we would have had another brother, but the doctors nailed the recovery room shut after Rob was born. Man, we were rowdy boys! My poor mom had no clue what all this manhood stuff was about. She only had sisters! And here, she had not 1, but 4 boys! 8 years after Rob came the twins; girls - Margaret and Marion. I like to think they were dessert after a very bad meal!

I don't think there was a single thing that one of the "boys" didn't get into, trouble wise, collectively or alone. Mostly, we were good sons, but we did like our shennanigans and pranks.

I am reminded of my childhood often, when I watch the sly and shifty eyes of Macrae and Rhett. They have that certain twinkle in their eyes that says, "Please, please, please! Turn your back on us! It will give us a running start!"

We're All Living on KOLOB Time...

2010-02-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

"...The Grand Old Painter Died Last Night, His Paintings
On The Wall, Before He Went He Bade Us Well, And Said Goodnight To Us All..." (Paul McCartney)

I attended a funeral yesterday for Dr. Raymond C. Ellis. I knew Dr. Ellis for nearly 50 years. He was my pediatrician, and that of my kids. He was a brilliant, funny, a hard working and caring doctor, and a dear friend to all who knew him, he was like a brother to my father. He was 87. My dad is 85 this year. As I watch the old "guard" diminish and fall apart - men who were once robust, strong, pillars of power - I am struck by the fact of how very quickly this mortal life passes before us. More, what of eternity? How can it be? How do we equate time here? There?

I think we are all on KOLOB time. Kolob was revealed to Joseph Smith and he recorded it in the Pearl of Great Price as the star nearest to where God resides. Further, it was revealed to the prophet that time for God is 1 day to man's 1,000 years. So, in using the 24 hours in a day as an formula equal to figure this out, and if a man lives to be 100 years old, then he lives in mortality 2.4 hours of Kolob Time. Thats not really very long for a "probationary " state on earth.

No wonder it all feels so fleeting! So fast! And why people wander around saying, "where did the time go?"

It also means I am left with less than an hour to keep myself together, endure the challenges this life presents, be a gentleman, and do some good. In the end, I only hope that my family and friends know that I love them, care about them, and have no ill will toward anyone. I pray I may be as forgiven by anyone I have ever crossed or offended.

My time is short, I will make the most of it!

Ain't no socialist conspiracy...

2009-12-29T18:46:00.000-08:00

Mountain Meadow Massacre Lives On

2009-12-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

So, I am working alot in Utah now. And since I am not Donald Trump, nor am I Beyonce, I don't have a limo, and without a limo, who needs a limo driver. (Note to self: Get rid of the guy in my backseat who claims he is my limo driver. Drop him off at the next Maverick!) So, since I am my "own" wheel man, I have clocked about 8,000 miles here in Utah since the end of September. And here's what I now believe. (A) There was a conspiracy behind the incident known as the Mountain Meadow Massacre (MMM) (B) I am pretty sure I know who was behind it (C) Because the posterity gene pool of those involved in the MMM are here, today, in Utah, and do in fact live on. AND ~~ I can prove it. Today, and everyday in Utah, there is what I call the Wasatch Front Massacre (WFM). Pause, background now: In 1974 and 1975 I lived in Tustin, California. It was there that I learned that driving defensively meant you would die. No, instead I learned very quickly that survival meant that you used your car like a weapon. A pre-emptive strike is crucial to living an extra day in So. Cali. My time there pre-dates drive-by shootings, but not drive-by drivings! It was kill or be killed! Mad Max, the road warrior, was before me, every single day while I lived in Southern California. So, I do have a knowledge that pre-dates my thesis on WFM! My sensory perceptions on this topic were only re-awakened, not something I had to grasp or learn anew. Unpause, background now: So, here I am in Utah. And it doesn't matter if these massacre'ists are driving a measly honda civic, or a MAC truck, they are laying in wait, no actually, they are proactively readying to kill you in your car, as you drive, in your car, as you park, in your car, as you pull into a SMITHS foods, in your car as you go to a wedding at ANY temple, they do not have criteria, I am telling you, they will kill you any place and any time! I myself have been nearly killed 17 times. And, I mean 17 times a day. The predominant mental(ly ill) driver, these drivers use is this; "grandpa killed him some folks at MMM, why the HECK (as in Oh My Heck) don't I do the same to protect my road!?" These massacre'ists aren't even as cleaver as the MMM'rs, they don't doctor themselves up to look like indians, and they don't lay in the shrub in wait until its time to lurch and kill. No, they projectile themselves at you in the name of getting to class on time at BYU, getting to church on time at the ward house, getting in and out of a Costco parking lot; you name it, death from these WFM'rs awaits you momentarily. Instantly! All the time. Actually, I think its best stated as "All the FLIPPIN' time!" But hey, don't ask me to validate this for you, go to any pre-introduction of "who are the visitors here today in any Gospel Doctrine class" ~ and as soon as you stand up and tell these Mormon folks who you are, and where are you from, you can begin to hear the murmuring, "I wonder where he is parked?" You might as well have a big red targett on all sides of your car, especially the roof for those stomper truck types (gun rack, gun rack with gun in rack types) who want to rollover the top of you, and as they do so, they yell out their window, "Hey how do you like the way WE ROLL in Utah?!" Grrrrrr, dawgone, good fer nothing WFM'rs anyway. So folks take it from me, the MMM was real, and today, the posterity of the MMM'rs are now the WFM'rs and you better watch out every single moment you are in your car. They are coming to get you! Trust me, you may wish to add a rider to your insurance policy; "Guardrail Protectant". It is the wild west here folks! Good thing the Church is true!

Scout

2009-09-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Scout, I miss you girl. What a terrific dog and friend you have been for almost 13 years. I still remember the Christmas morning that Keirra jumped out from behind the wall with you in her arms! I was shocked and surprised as never before, but most of all so happy! You were the greatest (a nicest) Val had ever given me, and never since have any gifts come close to you! You had the sweetest disposition. Musi taught you to bark. And you were like that movie the ugly dachshund, you didn't know that Musi wasn't your mother! It was funny to watch you as a puppy chase after her, and when she would go under tight places to elude you, you would follow and get stuck! So funny to watch. Keith sent over an email that sums you up prettys well. I will include it here now: Dear Boo Boo and family,It truly is a sad day. Our beloved Scout was a special member of our family. She had a kindness and a sensitive nature unlike any animal-friend that the Dyer family has ever had. From the very first time we met her in November of 1996 on a snowy winters evening in Ellensburg Washington, we knew that she was not only the cutest pup of the litter, but that she was the most tender as well. Scout became a loyal friend and faithful companion to each of us. She was so sweet to everyone, even to the Mus, which says a lot! For years she helped me with my golf swing by retreiving balls in the backyard for hours and hours. She loved that game! When she was young, she would catch the frisbee. Sometimes I would throw it over the old short fence on the south side of the house and she would gracefully glide over it to retreive it. She even taught herself how to jump/climb the 6 foot fence on the other side of mom and dads house by leaping into the air, getting her front paws over the top then pulling the rest of her body over. She was so athletic! She would conclude each work out session with a relaxing dip in "her" pond in the back yard only exposing the top of her head as she would submerge her entire body in the water. Before we had the pond, she would drink from the hose and flop down in the large puddle it created, laying on her side while drinking the water that she layed in. She was so funny. She was a great companion to mus and a great mentor to Midge. She taught Midge to be tough, to love the outdoors and to hunt, trades never possessed by our other dachshunds. Banks lake was never a bore with Scouty, always up to chase down a stick, ball, object, anything she could get her teeth around. Sometimes she'd appear with a giant log in her mouth, because she couldn't find anything else for u to throw. On many occasions, scout would swim out to u when u were done skiing because she thought u were in trouble and needed her rescue. Scout would play and play until her legs would tremble and she could hardle stand but would NOT stop until u told her that the game was over. Then she would flop down on the sand and lay majestically in the banks lake sun and silently observe the happenings around her. Returning home from school, Scout would always greet me with a sincere yet quiet hello as if to say "welcome back we missed you" and u could feel that she meant it. Scout was more than just a dog that would worry about what to eat or what toy to play with. She was considerate and aware of those around her. A perfect example was when she alerted Boo Boo of Midgey's fall into the freezing pool. And then there was her heric rescue of Boo Boo that followed shortly after.Truthfully I think that Scout was ready to pass on a year ago, but held on because she knew that Boo Boo needed her and he wasn't ready to say good bye. So she stayed with us for another year to give all of us, especially Boo Boo a few more moments to spend with her and to appreciate the good dog and friend that she was and will always be. It may sound like I'm talking about a person as I recite these memories but Scout was more like a person than like a dog anyway. Grandpa always told me that "dachshunds aren't dogs, that they are people." I agree with grandpa on that and tho Scout is a lab, she may be more like a person than any other dog that has ever been. Scout was a sensitive creature, a great dog and wonderful friend. We love her. She was a special part of all of our family. She will be missed. See Scoutie, there is so much love that you brought into our wonderful family. Thank you for that. You are missed. You always will be. You are loved. I look forward to seeing you in the eternities. Boo Boo

"jan gan bat paa huhng louh fo..."

2009-02-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

This Chinese proverb is pronounced - "jun gum but pa hong low fa" - which means "TRUE GOLD DOES NOT FEAR BIG RED FLAMES" - Hmmmmm... So, let me so, what's that mean today? Economy; if you have skills that are in demand, you have value, or, if you have an asset that isn't over inflated, overpriced, over leveraged, out of trust, out of the mainstream, you have value, or, if you invest in companies that have real value, and they are creating a larger GNP (gross national product) rather than taking away from it, then you have value, and you will not fear any Big Red Flames. Integrity; If your word matters, if your word is your bond, if you believe in the Golden Rule (Do Unto Others as you would have them do Unto You) and, you do not seek the unfair advantage against others, you work hard every day, forgive others, ask to be forgiven, then you will never fear any Big Red Flames. I look back over the last 54+ years of my life and wish MANY TIMES that I had chosen things (made decisions) differently. I suppose I would still have chosen to be a "cut-up" and humorist. But I think I would have thought long about hard about the saying, "there is a time and a place for everything." Maybe. Life's laughter is a hard thing for me to sidestep. Most of you who know me, know I can be very irreverent at times. I don't mean anything by it. Sometimes things just pop out! At least I am not exclusive here, and I am willing to self indict. BUT, I *am* feeling life's refinement process helping me along. I *am* being tempered. When I was younger it was against my will. Today, I see the wisdom in all this. Keep it simple. Love more. Err on the side of kindness. Pray for your enemies, and forgive them. Pray that you will be forgiven too. You don't take anything with you when you live this mortal life, but you do take your relationships, your intellect, your "who you really are" self. Your things stay behind, your money gets argued over, your body decays, your teeth fall out, the tax man says "goodbye", and everything you stewed over is at end. Did you do all you could? Did you live up to your capabilities? Get my drift? Good. Then you are TRUE GOLD and you shall never fear the Big Red Flames! (Oooo, thats hot!)

Can you dig it?

2009-02-11T17:12:00.000-08:00

I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, they can dig it, you can dig it, oh, let's dig it! Can you dig it, baby? I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, they can dig it, you can dig it, oh, let's dig it! Can you dig it, baby? I remember hearing this song (Grazin' in the green grass) when I was but 14-15 years old. Talk about a cool time in my life! Talk about a cool time everywhere, but, Vietnam, actually. Back then, the mideast was pretty much camels and sand. The music was a reflection of how people felt. HAPPY! Generally. Although I do admit I was raised in a comfortable middle class home, with a Mom who greeted me every day after school with a snack and a load of questions about my day. Sit down dinners with the entire family was the usually, every night. My Dad was in the FBI and used to come home, and take his pistol off and set it on the counter behind him at the dinner table. Loaded. If one of my kids came home and told me they had dinner at someone's house and the Dad there had a loaded gun on the counter behind him, I would certainly think my kid was carousing with Gangsters! I was raised on Gillgan's Island, My Three Sons, and Donna Reed. Today kids have MTV - E Channel, that is keeping up with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's latest "exposure" moment. Don't get me wrong, I like many things about "today" - but it does seem we are diluting some of the good stuff into a forgotten closet we long ago closed off. But, this is how it is. Life I mean. We evolve away all the time. Its like I still remember when Michael Jackson wasn't dangerously weird to kids under 18. But hey, now he has a lucky nose!

You can't always get what you want....

2009-02-02T01:20:00.001-08:00

So, we have a new President. And, times are tough. Housing is lackluster at best, and collapsing at worst. Jobs are evaporating. Times, they are, tough. But, in the simple scheme of things, you STILL have to have economics that work, right? So, lets keep this basic. Can I give you money, I don't have? Uh, no. Can I give you something (knowledge, information, a product, a service, a better deal on a fixed expense, etc.) that will help you make money? And, once you have money, can you give me back some for my helping you out? I think so. Why not? (Unless, I am greedy, then enough is never enough!) So how about this... Instead of the Gov't giving me something it doesn't have ($816 billion in a "stimulus" package) ~and by the way~ most of that is going out 3-4 years and just plain "pork" ~ which isn't a stimulus at all ~ why not give me some incentives to create some jobs, keep some of my tax dollars, maybe off set the price of my mortgage payments with better tax writeoffs, so I will take the $ I saved on not making my mortgage payments, and eat out more, or see more movies, or buy some new clothes, or a car? Want to spur construction? Give me some tax breaks for remodeling my house! If you want to get growth, you create incentives, you don't hand money out. Its the old addage, if you are hungry and I give you fish, I feed you for a day. But, if I teach you to fish, or better, give you a tax free way to own a boat, that you must use for fishing, then I give you fish for life! And, when you sell those fish, pay some taxes, afterall, you got the boat for free! Long live capitalism! At least for a few more years! Sadly, I think we are headed for Armegeddon, and the "end of days" ~ not sure when, but we are edging closer and closer all the time. And before you think I am worried because Barack Obama got elected, I am not. Bush didn't do anyone any favors, and I survived Carter and Clinton too. In my books all politicians are rubber heads! "Just gimme some truth..."

And, so it is Christmas, and what have YOU done...

2008-12-01T08:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas, the season, 2008. I am loading my iTunes with ever more Christmas music so I can stay wired for "sound" and always be in the real spirit of Christmas. I just played the part of "The Ghost of Christmas Present" in that ever Christmas Classic, *A Christmas Carol*, written by Charles Dickens. What a terrific way to slide early into the season. We issued an edict this year... NO GIFTS, unless they are "made". Goes both ways too, so I am busily "making" (well so far, "thinking" about what I "will be" making!) gifts for my kids. I read an article about someone who began saying "Hi" to everyone they saw, or made eye contact with, not just people this person knew and should be greeting anyway. I have been trying "that". Its amazing how cheerful people are. Sadly though, we have really dented the heads of children. Don't say "Hi" to a kid... you might get an umbrella whacking you on your noggin! Too bad we have so many creepy people in the world that make us live like this!? Anyway, this Christmas season, I invite us; you, me, everyone of us -to all to be a little more friendly. A little more caring and giving. A little more gift bearing to those in need. Read, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." (Matt 25:40)

Scout

2008-08-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today I found my dog Scout listless and cold. She had been throwing up all night. When I put her out, she took a sip of water, and crumpled to the grass out near the pond, where you might find her on a Sunny day. Today it is overcast and rainy. I put her into my SUV and took her to the Vet. As I suspected, she is very sick. 12 years this coming Christmas, I have loved and enjoyed Scout. She is a choc lab. The sweetest kindest personality you will ever find. She is unassuming and shy, unless there is a toss of meat into the air, which she readily grabs! She used to love the chase tennis balls, but her hips have been giving her trouble. It looks like cancer near her heart, and her liver may have some too. We will know better when they do an ultra sound. I cannot imagine life without her. She is nearly like one of my kids in THAT regard. I am sick and teary just thinking about it all. Should I make her endure my love by forcing chemo upon her, so I can keep her with me a few more months? Or should I bite down hard now and realize dogs only get 12-14 years and you need to let them go? Though I hate letting a dog go, I simply cannot let her suffer, not for me. First Heidi, when I was but 10 years old, was run over. Then Muffin who had some intestinal troubles. And only in early 2005 Musi had to be put down. I suspected she had cancer too. She ached and hated to even go outside anymore. I am sure there is a reason, but it makes no sense to me. What pleasure a sweet, kind, loving dog will bring you. What joy that adds to a family! I have had a heart breaking phone call from Meredith, one of the chicklettes, telling me, "Boo Boo make Scout happy again." And poor little Sonja, Meredith's so tender older sister just sobbed to me her sadness. I don't know how to bear this incredible sadness? I have worked really hard to be this crusty old man. And here I am sitting in front of Golden Pond, wishing for my precious Scout to be with me forever. Maybe in the next life I will have all my dogs around me? Maybe my lap will runneth over? Dear Scout, i pray for your comfort, not mine. You have been so sweet and wonderful your whole life. God probably wants you back to enjoy you himself! Thats ok, I guess. Find Raquel, she will want to smother you with love and kisses I am sure! I will think of you always, with fondness, and deep love. Dan

Present Tense...

2008-05-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

we should all live our lives in the present tense. life is fleeting and comes down to relationships. all of us have things we wish we could change about our lives. do you have regrets? i do. someone once said, "the older you get, its not the things you did in life you regret, its the things you didn't do." pearl jam sings a song called: *present tense*. i like this song alot, because usually the things in life that hold us back, hold us down, are things about our own self that are in our head. sometimes others have done something to us that we can't let go of, but mostly, if you dig around in it you will really see that it is what we think about ourselves that keeps us trapped. the lyrics to the PJ song are: "you can live your life alone, redigesting past regrets, or... you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who *can* forgive yourself..." curious in the second verse the word *can* is changed to *cannot*. its about you *can* and you *cannot* - either way, its up to YOU! its also curious to me that to really to see yourself; it comes down to how we really DO see ourselves. most people really forgive and forget about you and things you did or didn't do. but can *we* really forgive and forget things about ourselves? i was once held hostage by something someone said and did to me in 1972. for over 34 years i was helf down by this incident. when i finally realized i was using this experience to carve this person up when i could, i wrote a letter asking them to forgive me. why would i do that? i was not the offender. yet, i had become such time after time, using that moment so long ago to carry my martyr's axe. as soon as i dropped my letter in the mailbox to this person, asking them to forgive me, it was as if 2 elephants who had been standing on my chest walked away. it was *that* stark of a feeling of release and relief for me. in the new testament; mark 12:31 tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. if you don't like yourself, let alone love yourself, how on earth can you like or love anyone else? you can't. the danoism of like and love is based upon one's personal foundation. how you feel about you is integral to your core. some people who do not like themselves eat until they become obese. some judge others all the time. some shop and buy things they don't need. some are always at the gym. some are meticuloous cleaners and don't like people eating in their cars. some never can trust you. some seem to hate everyone and everything. some self loathe and become stand up comedians. there are many varities of ways that we manifest how we really feel about ourselves. one good way to get on the path to liking and loving others, and feeling that we really do like and love *me* - *myself* -and- *i* is to serve others. bake some cookies and drop them randomly at someone's house you would never usually do this for. drop a friendship card in the mail to someone you admire who is alone. go mow the lawn of the widow on the corner. stop at the hospital on your way home and drop goodie baskets to the kids in the burn center, or cans of powdered formula to all the single moms with babies in the maternity ward. 100's of people within 1 mile of you need someone. find them, do something for them, you will feel better about you. i think when we die and we face our Savior, he will ask us about ourselves, and about all our relationships. i don't think he will ask much about mistakes we made. i don't think life is about a scorecard. 28 bad things, to 24 good things. we already have that part down. but if we start today, liking YOU for who YOU ARE, you can pass this along to others. its the best contagious thing i know. start today, truly, the next 70 years will be more terrific because you did!

Miley ain't so Smiley

2008-05-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

Dear People Magazine... why don't you ask some parents of the girls age 4-14 who have been a hug fan base of Miley's, rather than uh lets see; rosie o'donnell to see how the parents feel about Miley's little photo shoot? rosie isn't exactly the best mom role model in the universe! come on... Miley is on her way to being the next brittney spears. she just jumped the shark. it was a dumb photo shoot, and it certainly will cost her $millions$ - why? because parents want to protect their kids, not get them to be worldly/open thinkers until they leave home, go to college, and are prepared/capable of making decisions on their own. look, you have 13-14 year old girls on myspace and facebook snapping photos of themselves in their bras and panties because of stupid things like this Miley Cyrus flap! and what the heck is wrong with her dad? he should be ashamed. tell me i am not the only one with the thought what is with this "incest/pedo" man in his sexy snap shot with his daughter. i don't care if the world regards annie lebowitz as the "photog" to be shot by, big deal. for her to exploit someone under age 18 is only telling me that she has no scrupples. It's all just a walk down the familiar path of: Someone with a gig and some talent, got too big for their britches, got bored by the fame and money, took a left turn into the weird celeb abyss, and it blew up on them. now Miley is whatever the tabloids want her to be. soon, i bet she will become impregnated by some outer space alien, and secretly living with elvis in seclusion. people are already asking "Who is Miley? And what happened to her?" c'est la vie, Miley. We knew you "WHEN" or should i say "WHEN?" So why did i blog this anyway? So i can record for history my overall view on how borish and NON i am toward celebs as a rule. And I want to file my judgement for the record. Sorry, Miley, you could have been different. Oh wait, Dancing with the Stars called, thats the last stop for all washed up on the beach celebs isn't it?

Miley Cyrus, we had such hope for you...

2008-04-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

Miley, Miley, Miley! What are YOU thinking? Dear girl, we *had* such hope for you. *Had* - read, our hope has evaporated girl. You have now become a non. You are usual. You could have done great things, and now you are plain old variety. I would have bet that you would have been a main stay. But no more. You can't retrack non-purity behaviors. All the sexy pics between you and your sleep over girlfriend, then those of you and your dopey boyfriend, and now the Vanity Fair mag spread. (Have your handlers contacted HEF yet for your nudes from your upcoming sweet 16 birthday party?) And you think it's an honor to have had Annie Lebowitz throw you under the "compromising" bus? I am sad to say, "you could have been different", but now you have jumped the shark. The applause will die down. The money will go away. I suppose we will see you doing bazar things at shopping malls, and while out for the evening with panting paparazzi swarming you, watch you walk into re-hab in some posh hideaway near Park City, UT., oh and lets not forget having a teenie tiny yap of a pooch tucked under your arm for a security blanket! You could have stayed about the fray Miley. Why didn't you? May I tell you why? Because you are STILL a dopey kid! And either you are asking the wrong questions (assume you converse with skilled celebs like your Dad) or you are getting some really stupid advice from people who ought to know better! What a shame! I suppose creating a persona about a girl who is really two people (multi-personality disorder? Schizophrenia?) could be the real issue here, who knows? But the tabloids will get it all to us soon enough. So typical you would tell "OK" magazine how you feel about the Vanity Fair spread. As if OK magazine is the well thought of source for anything reliable. Miley, want some bland normal behavior advice? Collect all your cash, drop out of the limelight, cut records in private sessions, re-legitmize yourself, get off the stages, start doing some good in the world (serve someone else!) and come back to us after you have graduated from college. USE YOUR HEAD!

Present Day Galdiator Games

2007-09-12T17:45:00.000-07:00

You know, long, long ago, and in a faraway land, people were animals, and delighted in the demise of other humans at the hands of gladiators, tigers, lions, and other ferocious methods of killing the weak in front of an audience. Are we so different today? Aren't we watching the demise and destruction of Britney Spears? How pathetic is the media for covering her like they do? How groteseque are the fans who hound her every move? How awful are we for not shutting off the TV when one of her "latest" britcapades is publicized and broadcast? Who among us is willing to see the live life taking of her? I don't know her. I don't care for her, or her music. I have more than 7,500 song on my iPod and I don't think one of them is hers. But I am against all this; paris, nichole, lindsey, britney "watching"... In my day it was Farrah Fawcett, or Bo Derek, WHO CARES? WHO CARED? Get a life for yourself! How about we all start doing something good for mankind, like wave and smile, and let others go in front of us, pay it all forward, do a good turn daily? No wonder the 3rd world countries are uniting behind dictators and hate mongers of AMERICA, we have lost our grip on the rudder. Can we pull out? Do we really care what's happening between Brad and Angelina? Donald Trump and his latest young bimbo? Please! It may be too late, but maybe we CAN actually save ourselves from ourselves?

Life goes on and on...

2007-04-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

What is a good age to die? Somedays, today would be good. 99.999% of the other days I think it's a great thing to have genes that point to a very long life. And, today, I have to wonder what biomedicine advances are on the way to make long living FUN and free of aches, aging, and disease. Maybe there are tradeoffs. For instance, plastic surgery gets rid of the bags and sags, but it seems to me that it plasticizes the skin, so you appear "doll like" and almost unhealthy, fake, and weird looking. I crack up when I see someone who has undergone liposuction, and they look like someone poured them into their jeans. While the jeans do fit, the parts of the body NOT in the jeans appear pillowy and cottage cheesey like. So why do I care? Seems we are all overcome with vanity today. I wish I had more hair. Maybe I will get a transplant. Too bad I can't take the rug that has formed on my back and move it to the top of my head! I guess in all this, none of it really matters. I am told that when we are finally resurrected, we get our best selves back again. For me, I would appear to be about 18, light on my feet, dark thick hair with auburn tints in the sun, and strong as a young oak tree. Then I wonder, will anyone know me? I guess I will have to wear my old football jersey, #44, for my true identity. And what about my kids, will they all be 18 too? Will heaven be this massage crowd of 18 year old looking wise and sage people? Like will we have an urge to steal some hubcaps, but won't cause we now know better? Daunting thoughts, aren't they? One good thing about all this is, we are lucky none of us has our own timeline for winding up here. It's good to be surprised. Keep the line moving please, Life goes on and on...

snow days

2007-01-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

if you live near me, you know we have had unusual cold weather the last couple weeks, snow, ice, in fact, i have snow on my yard, which has been there over a week now. as such, kids have been out of school. we only have one snow plow in this state, and it's usually in spokane, i think. so, they just shut everything down, we all stay home, and act like we are suffering. what this causes is snow days. days that are supposed to be made up, educationally speaking. snow days make you go to school until after the 4th of july usually. but i see the state legislature has now decided to let kids slide, under the act of God rule, and not have to make up the time. i personally think that a kid should only have to make up time, if they didn't get out and play in the snow. most kids today aren't allowed to play outdoors. they can't get cold and wet, gosh, a red nose might be the death of them! how times have changed. when i was a kid, if we didn't come in the house in a hypothermic state, we hadn't really enjoyed the snow like we should have. you know, i didn't see one hookey bobber this winter. hookey bob you ask, whats that? its where you grab onto the bumpers of cars and slide behind them for a few miles, at least til you got to where you were going. but then, most cars today don't have bumpers, so whats the use? if you wanna see some great honking chrome bumpers, tune into the barrett-jackson auto auction on the speed channel, its going on in scottsdale right now. now those cars have some great hookey bobbing bumpers man! ok, new rule. no snow days if you play in the snow! done deal!

musings

2007-01-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

you know, i like to write. the serious stuff i keep hidden away. but, i do let the funny stuff out each week. why? well, if its funny, people only seem to think you are annoying them, which makes it all the more funny. but if it's serious stuff, then, everyone is a critic. so now you know. some samples: (1) When i was in med school and my class chose up sides for our annual summer picnic and baseball game, i took all the cadavers for my teammates. i loved yelling from the dugout to the team, "hey-- look alive out there!" (2) Every Christmas, no matter how good I am, Santa never brings me what I ask for. You wouldn't think that venison steaks wouldn't be that hard to come by. (3) If I *don't* love something, is it still OK to set it free? -and- (4) I'm all for being honest while you're on a date. You should ask right up front if your date minds if you make fun of her extra chin. well, and now you know the weird thoughts that dart around in my head. funny? annoying? you decide. but, keep your decision to yourself, i am too fragile as a writer. fra'gil'e - its italian!

politics, paris, and poop

2006-10-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

today class, we will focus on the letter "p"... first politics... they're creepy, all of them, ugly, mean spirited, and i would like to think our founding fathers didn't stoop to the low life of mud slinging, but i am guessing, since time began we have been this brutal to one another... this whole congressional page thing is an atrocity, but, we are foolish to think this undercover evil is new... what only catholic priests molest? come on, get real! paris hilton, please, go away, you jumped the shark already. you're a "has been", in my book a "never was", there aren't enough 12 year old girls anywhere in the country who think you are cool anymore, so dry up! life is all about managing our own poop. most we create, some others hand us. smile away, smile away, smile away... that's how you deal...

let me negotiate...

2006-06-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

what? just what is pain? is there pain in dying? apparently not... so one thought i have about dealing with all these terrorist types is to introduce them to "living" pain, pain that doesn't end. really anguish pain. see, i think its been, oh about 6,000+ years that these folks have been living in the heat of the sun, and well, that's just too long! give them lemonade now! give them some shade now! and let them see their women! that might help things? or maybe not, maybe you should keep some things hidden? so, anyway, it strikes me that when you believe you get honor when you die as a martyr, then we need to change up some things... (a) you don't get to die, you get to live, and you get life long pain... some cases to where you think you are dying, and we save you bring you back, for... yes, you guessed it, more pain... maybe when someone lives in constant pain, when they do bad to others, a few generations of that, and things will change... maybe new found respect for life and living? other than that, "...i'll have the cold lamb sandwich. my wife taught me that.." (meet joe black) when i was king, i passed a law that ended all drive by shootings: YOU HAVE TO EAT WHAT YOU KILL! a good rule to use in IRAQ now too, i think. terrorists beware, you better be hungry!

IPods and iBrains...

2006-06-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

ok, i finally got into this century and bought an iPod. i have had the great pleasure of loading some (so far) 4,564 songs onto my 30GB iPod. i didn't realize it, but i have about 6,000 cd's all over the place... many duplicates, about 100 i would guess. So, it dawns on me, why can't that smarty pants bill gates, especially now that he will have all that extra ca$h and extra time on his hands, invent the iBrain. where you can digitize all your memories, say by date only, and have a little "cyber feed" in your head that puts these memories up on the home theater's big screen? then if you wanna see what you were doing back on may 21, 1968, you can... can someone fwd this email to bill gates? ;o)

Whats it all about, Alfie?

2006-06-16T03:45:00.000-07:00

I got a new iPod. I should say I got an iPod, cause unless you're a gang banger, of course it's going to be new, right? Anyway, I am loading up my old cd collection, of which I calculate I have about 6,500, so I think I need the larger iPod. The cool thing is I am finding I have songs on some of these cds that I was unaware I owned. Interesting covers, or long ago lost titles of songs "gone by". So it makes me wonder, "what" other technology can we invent that can help us organize ourselves, and find other "lost" bits and pieces of things, we didn't realize we even have still. For instance, what about past lovers? Past street fights when we were kids? The feelings we experienced the first time we were homesick? How about some first time taste bud explosion over a new lucious, rich, creamy, thick dessert of some sort? So far the iPod has all this for our hearing, which transfers into our memories. Am I too nutty to think we can find the technology to bring back other things lost to our other sensories? And can we wire into our brains and see the reruns? Net flicks mails to your door, why not "MY FLICKS" that we push a date in our past and we get to watch it all again, hearing, smelling, remembering every aspect of it. I heard Bill Gates is retiring, maybe he can go back to the garage of origin and come up with something? Hey, don't look at me, I am just the "idea" guy!

Rome...

2006-05-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

When in Rome, you do what Romans do. So far, I guess that means, become a street urchin, sell rip off designer purses, sunglasses, or pretend you don't know English, so you can suck my last Euro away when making change. But, actually, this is a very romantic city! Trevi fountain, the place where hearts are sealed is simply beautiful! I caution you though, be careful when you drink from the fountain in the Pantheon, for I mistakenly drank some Holy Water! So much amazing architecture and artwork! The Sistine Chapel was a disappointment however, oh yes, Michael Angelo's work was there, but the feel was strange, dark, and the guards were constantly clapping and shushing the whispers. I don't think I was ready to see the ghoulish, demonic characters in all the art through out the Vatican. And, I certainly made friends with two of the Swiss Army warriors who guard the joint. They didn't find my offering to give a "Mormon" perspective tour of the St. Peter's Basillica humorous, and when I asked them of the pope was lunching on Holy Mackerel, well, let's just say that they put me into a "timeout", until my friends came for me. Gilatto on the street is refreshing and great, but the $8 euro coke in my hotel suite was abit much, especially given that it was only the equivalent of some 5-6 ozs! Ah, Rome, no wonder thou hast fallen so many times! Dining in the outdoor cafe's was terrific! Another favorite site was the 10-11 year old boy playing, singing, dancing, entertaining in Piazza Square, boy, talk about soul and antimation! Adiou Rome, I shall remember thee with wistful thoughts, and glad I came, but once, I shall not return. (Do I sound romantic and perhaps a tad Shakespearian? No? Ok, well, I tried)

Time should never be your enemy...

2006-05-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Once I heard, "If a business deal is good, then time must always be your friend. It's ok to run out of money, but never ok to run out of time." If you think about this concept as it relates to most of the important things in life; family, friends, relationships, schooling, career choices, where you live, how you life, etc., then that couplet makes alot of sense. All we really in life is our time. We all die broke, we can't take a damn dime with us when we leave this life. A friend of mine said, "We are the sum of our relationships, and it is those that we take with us when we return to God." Do you really think God cares if you are a farmer of corn, or a havard business school grad, or manage some fast food joint? No. All he cares about is that you did your best, that you were honest, kind, giving, caring, and generous. The world is full of so much hate today. Sad isn't it? I believe that the "man in the mirror" can make a change, but I have to want to make THAT change.

the new PJ cd...

2006-05-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

so i got the new PJ cd yesterday, and its alot of anti-bush/war stuff, but i am ok with that, because i think the great part about being american and living in the USA is our "right" to believe, speak, and live as we wish. so to the boys in PJ, i say, "ok. i get your view." i hope they acknowledge that in me and others are like john mccain, and joe biden. [its good what we are doing to bring democracy to IRAQ] although, i hate war, and it's awful consequences. anyway, back to PJ. i rather like this song: If I keep holding out Will the light shine through? Under this broken roof It's only rain that I feel I've been wishin' out the days Oh oh oh Come back I have been planning out All that I'd say to you Since you slipped away Know that I still remain true I've been wishin' out the days Please say that if you hadn't have gone now I wouldn't have lost you another way From wherever you are Oh oh oh oh Come back And these days, they linger on, yeah, yeah And in the night, I've been waiting for A real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams I go to sleep If I don't fall apart Will my memory stay clear? So you had to go And I had to remain here But the strangest thing to date So far away and yet you feel so close I'm not going to question it any other way It must be an open door for you To come back And the days they linger on, yeah Every night I'm waiting for The real possibility that I may need to end my pain Sometimes you're there and you're talking back to me Come the morning I could swear you're next to me And it's ok It's ok, it's ok I'll be here Come back, come back I'll be here Come back, come back I'll be here Come back, come back Oooooooo Oooooooo Oooooooo Oooooooo - enjoy it! i am... bigdog

When a HorseFly bites a Stallion...

2006-05-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

I once heard someone say, "When a horsefly bites a stallion, the fly doesn't become the stallion. The fly remains the fly, the stallion is still the stallion." So true. Sometimes how we are effected by the actions of someone else is really tough on us. That just means you are sensitive, and it's ok to feel hurt. But you shouldn't lose perspective. Look at it this way... Take love for instance... We all want to be loved, it gives us something to love for. But when that love is withdrawn, the vibe dies, it doesn't mean we have lost ourselves. Life goes on. So should we. I met a man in New York. A very bright man. We became friends. He and I were contemplating doing some business together. This man had had throat cancer. He had perspective. He had a successful pal who had hit a bumpy patch in his career. He lost some regulatory licenses, and was nearly unable to make a living. My friend asked me to work with this pal of his. My friend said to me, "Dan, you will like my pal. He's had trouble. The trouble made him smarter, not dumber. He didn't lose any brains by making some mistakes, if anything he grew from it." What an amazing approach. Very thoughtful I thought. Another time I heard this comment, "Teenagers are as smart as they ever will be, for they THINK they know more about life than anyone else." When I was a kid, I sure thought I knew everything. Didn't you? Today at 52, I am so clear that 35+ years ago, I knew quite alot about nothing that mattered. Too bad I didn't know the Stallion/Horsefly theory then, right? Oh yes, one more thing... Those dawgone horseflys bite all the time! They are relentless, aren't they?

Who are you? Who? Who? I really wanna know...

2006-04-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

I am reading a book; The Five Stages of the Soul. It asks the ever searing question that has troubled man throughout the ages... "Who are YOU" ?? I wish I had an answer. Sometimes I think I could answer it with "Who I wish I was..." or even "I know Who YOU are, I think..." and so it goes. What makes us all unique is, our "sum". I think we came here with alot of Who we are, and then the background and conditioning we got in our familial surroundings influence us; parents, siblings - or the lack thereof, adding in our relatives, our friends, our school chums, teachers, our worries, fears, accomplishments, on to college, the workplace, war, peace, love, marriage, singledom, neighbors, civic opportunities, and alot of what we believe spiritually/theologically. All these things, and more, make us our "sum". Each of has to suffer certain conditions. We get challenged and have to endure many things; humiliation, hurt, loss, worry, non-acceptance, loss of friends, money, and sometimes the greater challenge is that of success and fame. I wonder how fun it is to be someone famous and have no privacy? There must be a fine line between the "Fame Factor" and the cost is often that you give up freedom and peace for that Fame. Who wouldn't cross back over to the peaceful side if they could? I saw Paula Abdul interviewed recently. A beautiful, successful, accomplished woman. I may not dig her music entirely, abit boppy for me, but, she said how hard relationships are for her because of her acclaim. How sad. Today, I am grateful I am a "nobody" in terms of hollywood, or wallstreet. But I am somebody to 8 little chicklettes who call me Boo Boo. That's WHO I am.

Boycott all concerts...

2006-04-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

I recently learned that Pearl Jam was playing in the "Gorge" this summer. PJ is one of my all time favorite bands. I was a late come to the party devotee to PJ, long after mookey blaylock, ten, mother love bone, mud honey, etc. I know well the stories of the grandma's jam, Eddie's torn adolescent life, how Stone and Jeff put it all together for bippity boppity boo, and so on. Deeper I like the genius in their work. Yeah, they are aging, so is the playlist, but I still like these guys. TONS! But I am calling for a boycott of all concerts. Not just PJ - but ALL concerts everywhere. Why? Because I refuse to pay $100 bucks to listen to some wanna-be PJ, or Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young groupie, or whomever stand next to me, and sign off key into my ears! I wanna hear the guys sing, but that's just not possible anymore. You don't go to a musical on broadway, or an opera at the met, and sit next to some "singin' in the shower" goof, now do you? So, I say, if we all boycott on the grounds of "music ruination" from the dope next to you, perhaps we can get a movement going? I mean I wouldn't mind the occasional "joining in" - but every stinkin' tune? Come on man! Give me a break. Oh and one other thing, if you think I am out in left field here, well, all I can say is, that seat next to you, I was going to sit in? Its going to be empty for a long, long time. I am done with concerts. I will say that concerts in Hollywood Bowl or at the Pier in Seattle are still cool. There you go, get your concert fix in a mellow venue. Peace!

Do Overs...

2006-04-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

Today as I was playing golf with my pals and my son, like usual I hit an errant ball off to the right, I quickly pulled another ball from my pocket and declared, "Mulligan!" There are several historical versions of the story behind hitting a "Mulligan" - but my point here is not to wax on in history, its to take this musing one step further with something we did as kids, called a "Do Over". When I was growing up, we played alot of sports in the street, down at the grade school near my home, just about everywhere. Pick up games, grab your pals, go play ball. Football, Basketball, Baseball. We'd drop our books on our front lawn after getting off the bus from school, grab our gear, and head for a game somewhere. Of course we needed all the guys to be players, so we had no extras who would/could referee our sandlot games. Invariably, we would have fouls, disagreements, someone was upset about some infraction committed, so instead of arguing endlessly, we would simply call a "Do Over" - like a "Mulligan" and replay the down, the pitch, the shot, whatever. However the "Do Over" turned out, was how it was, AND further how it was meant to be, because we also had this Karma thing that if the "Do Over" resulted in the game leaning one way or another, then whatever caused the disagreement to begin with was sort of weighted in terms of "who was right afterall" by how the "Do Over" turned out. You get the idea. So, it dawns on me regularly, that in life we all need more "Do Overs". Times to walk away, or start fresh. Keep your team. Or find a new game. No harm. No foul. We just "Do It Over". I wonder if we could all make life more simple with such a simple way to settle things that trouble us? Boz Skaggs has a song called "Come on Home" and in that song the lyrics are in essence, "nobodys right, nobodys wrong, lets call it a draw..." Not a bad way to close doors, move on, renew, or start fresh with a "Do Over" if you ask me. Word to the wise though... If you want to take a "Mulligan", then you better be ready to give a "Mulligan" too. You can't have it both ways. Taking and no giving. The beatles said it best, "and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make..." So, go ahead, call a "Do Over" now and then. See if it doesn't make your life alittle easier, happier, more peaceful.

A button off my Shirt...

2006-04-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has been married twice, the first one, he shared children with, the second one, well, she was his perfect match - so he thought! Turns out she was weird, and it didn't last. He asked me how you move beyond pain. I have never really known pain, and if I did, I wouldn't admit to it; I have lived by the philosophy, "You can't hurt steel". Seems to work. I like music, one good song for getting over someone is; Ronnie Milsap's "Button off my Shirt". Take a gander... Fun Lyrics: "I heard the word goin' 'round town, They say that you're makin' a fool out of me, Baby it took me some time to come around, To realize you were not what you seemed. Each day's passin', the clock's been my friend, Help me get back on my feet again, Like the button off-a my shirt, just an every day distraction, You'd be over reactin' if you think that I still hurt, Your just a button off-a my shirt and someday I will replace you." So it goes. Another pal of mine, married once, his wife left him too. (What is it about my pals?) He is happy, but he has questions. Who wouldn't? So my theory about all this is: Everyday life is going to give you something that challenges you; Health, Love, Kids, Money, Angst - it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some we bring on ourselves, some others bring to us. Sometimes, its alittle of both. Life is fraught with good and bad. Enough good in your life will help you "cope" with the bad. Or, if things really suck, you can eat a popsicle. Those work too.

Dano on Religion

2006-04-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

-----------------------RELIGION----------------------------

i am one who is prone to thinking about many things. these thoughts come from no where, and usually go back there, injuring few along the way. well, of course, except for the brain damage i give myself - that is.

religion is a funny thing to contemplate. but then, i am a funny man doing the contemplating, so here goes.

once there was a black hole. god filled it with dirt and called it earth. it was still dark there, so he turned on a big flash light, giving it daylight. at night, he shuts the light off. well he added water to the dirt, which then made mud, and ruined his shoes, so he separated the dirt from the water, calling one part land, and the other part sea. now his shoes were clean again, but all this work made his feet too warm, so he changed into some sandals.

he decided to add some fish to the water, because later when His son would be in town speaking, people would be hungry and he would take 3 fishes and feed 5,000. he also put some animals about the land, because he knew whenever he would visit las vegas, he would want to see the rodeo and watch some bull riding. and then there is the whole food chain thing, and so he finished that work so everyone else could eat someone, or something and survive. well it wasn't long before golf came along, and and god needed a golfing partner, so he created man to have a golf pal to say things like, "i bet you i can get it closest to the pin" on all the par threes. they laughed and joked alot, and spent alot of time at the country club known as Eden.

when god was leaving one day, the man, who became known as adam, the first name in the new phone book, under the A's, said, "hey god, its one thing that you beat me every day in golf, but when you leave. it's quiet and lonesome here." god thought for a moment, looked across the street at the new mall going in, and with a glimmer in his eye, said, "you know, i think i have just the thing for you."

the next morning, when adam was watching the morning news and reading the paper, he smelled something funny in the air. he looked over the fig hedges and saw an amazing sight. someone who looked abit like him, but smelled sweet and fragrant, and didn't have broad shoulders, yet did have longer hair, and smaller feet, and dainty hands, and was humming a very unfamiliar tune. music wasn't really a part of this Eden yet. the beatles were still blokes playing off polk street gigs in liverpool. Eden was looking better and better to Adam. soon this person passed by adam, and he said, "hey what are you doing here?" she said, "see that mall over there? well, soon i will be lost in there, and spend all my days trying on various fig leaves. just for fun." adam was confused. but she looked good to him, and he thought, "whatever. malls. fig leaves. i can take it. she's hot!" adam said, "hey do you have a name?" she said, "nope." adam said, "well in the alphabet, we have vowels. i am Adam from the A's, E's come next, so why don't you be Eve from the E's?" Eve said, "thats perfect, because i will be in the mall until Eve, every day."

well, so life in Eden was smooth, carefree, and not too interesting. the mall never seemed to open. the woman was always humming some unfamiliar tune, and adam lost at golf every day to God.

one day, an alice cooper tour bus that had stopped in town for gas, left the door to the living quarters open, and while everyone was in the gas'n go buying snacks and soda, out of the bus came a snake. a big, long snake, in fact, no one really knew it was a snake, because it had feet. ironically, it was wearing snake skin cowboy boots. he was doubley camoflauged!

so he walks on over to Eve and says, hey, i am new here, anything fun to do in town? Eve said, "fun? what is fun?" and it hits the snake right there and then, "she is clueless," he thinks. "uh... hey Eve, ever seen one of these?" and he is holding up some fruit, that looked kinda like an apple/pear/plum all in one. Eve shook her head, "no i don't think so." the snake hissed, saying, "try it, you'll like it." Eve says, "hey wait, isn't that the forbidden fruit?" The snake hissed louder, "nothing is forbidden if you don't want it to be. besides it will make you see, know fun." So as you guessed, Eve, well, she ate the apple/pear/plum fruit.

about that time, adam happens along, on his way to play his afternoon round of golf with God. The snake, because he was in his snake skin boots wasn't visible to adam. Eve says, "hey adam, when is the mall gonna open?" adam said, "i don't know, seems like forever, doesn't it?" Eve said, "Oh hey, by the way, try some of this fruit, and if you like I will make a pie for dinner tonight out of it." Adam hesitated, but then thought about having pie. What is pie? Sounds yummy, and he had never had pie before, and it sounded so good. So he ate. "Eve!" he exclaimed, "you look great! before you only smelled great, but now for some reason YOU LOOK GREAT!" Eve said, "you know adam, i never noticed this before, but you are strong looking, muscular, and have a sexy chisled jaw. lets make out!"

all of a sudden, god appears. and he is fairly bent out of shape, because adam didn't show up for golf on time, and God asks, "adam? what are you doing?" adam, now drooling over Eve said, "sorry about the golf, but get a load of Eve!" the snake steps out and shows himself. god says, "hey snake, what have you done?" the snake said, "oh you know, alittle of this, a little of that." god is clearly ticked and says, "ok snake, you're losing the boots! slither and slide from now on pal, you just lost me my golf partner, and i am very unhappy. live on your belly now, snake, and GET LOST!" the snake was bootless, footless, and slithered back to the alice cooper bus. When alice cooper sees the snake, he said, "hey wheres my snake skin boots? And get up off the floor! ok, snake, from now on you will work as a prop in the show!"

as God is still ticked, adam says, "what? no more golf?" god says, "no sorry adam, no, that you can see Eve is naked, its going to ruin everything. you will want to make out all the time and be late for golf, so, well. i am gonna have to send you two on your way. no more eden."

adam puts his arm around Eve, as they walk out of the place known as Eden, and says, "don't worry, honey. the mall will open soon, and i hear there will be a store there called victorias secret, and you can cover up in something lacey, sexy, and semi decent." Eve was grinning about the prospects. but she had heard nothing about victoria secrets, but had heard about nordstroms, and that was enticing!

as they left, Adam and Eve turned to eden for one last look. god was sad looking, but knew this was better for everyone. adam asked, "so, this is really it, huh, god?" god said, "yes, but don't worry in 9 mos + 13 years you will have your first teenager, and you will start praying, and we'll get to know each other again." Adam looked at Eve, and she at him, and he said, "what the heck is a teenager?" Eve said, "well, i don't know, but it can't be all that bad, because God said we will find him again. I mean how hard can it be? what do you think, a teenager will kill someone?" they both chuckled, and walked off to the mall, which was now open.

well, the snake still doesn't have legs, he is still doing alice cooper reunion shows. the mall is still open. in fact, there are malls everywhere. cane killed able. apples, pears, and plums are now all separate fruits. teenagers make us all find religion. and golf is still a rotten, silly, ruthless game.

centuries of confusion have come and gone, but one thing is clear, well maybe two things. (1) adam had no clue what he got us all in to, oh yes, we can blame it on Eve, but really, its not a bad life knowing how sweet things can be, and sweeter still from how bitter and sour so many things can also be. but we see their differences at least, and have a clue when life is good. - and- (2) eve still looks great after a couple hundred bucks spent in victoria secrets, doesn't she?

i don't know what color the smoke at the vatican is, but i do know that if any of the above "dano" dissertation on religion is false or misleading, well, you can blame me for sure, just remember insanity is a real plea! DDD

Eat your own fleas and ticks

2006-04-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

Last time I was at the Zoo, I noticed the primates (big word for monkeys, baboons, gorillas-maybe not gorillas, as this could be a mafia term, seems to me i heard that term in GodFather I, II, and III?) and they were enjoying an afternoon of picking through each other's fur coats and eating little morsels of something or other. I asked the Zoo person (big word for girl in brown uniform who appeared to be employed there) what they were doing? She said, "Oh they keep each other clean from fleas and ticks by helping each other out like that. They search through their coats (big word for fur) find the little critters and eat them for each other." To me they seemed bored with this grooming activity, like nothing else was on the Human TV they were watching, as *we* humans all paraded past their habitats (big word for cages) gawking at their personal hygene habits. I then wondered when man ever got the notion to stop eating the fleas and ticks off of other men, and when man decided to open up a styling salon (big word formerly meaning, "we will eat your fleas and ticks for free) and began charging $money$ to give ourselves swank hair-dos and looks like; duck tails, perms, streaking, or the ever needed and oh so stylish comb-over? Which took me to my next thought, if man is so smart and apes aren't, how come they have hair and we don't? Did man ask God one day, "God, can I move up the food chain in the intelligent sphere of life?" And God replied, "Sure, but it'll cost you hair..." So, as I left the primate (big word for flea eaters) exhibit I was left with this thought, *I think it's really an obsessive compulsive disorder we give these primate fellows by locking them up in there* and if I was one of them, I would smack my pal Barney the Baboon and say, "Knock it off, eat your own fleas and ticks!" Besides I think those Baboon guys should spend some time inventing pants for those red butts they have. I mean if you're gonna sit around all day, do something worthwhile. Yeah! Like invent pants!

Who or what has you by the tail?

2006-04-08T03:02:00.000-07:00

There are many experiences and events in life that come and go (pay attention to "go" ;o) where you feel someone or something has you by the tail and hard as you might run, claw, scramble to skee-daddle and get away, well, you just feel "captured". Okay, first of all, I guarantee you "whatever" it is, if you stand back from "it" and look at it apart from the personal aspects of it, you will see "it" laced with irony. Which is good! Because seeing the irony in whatever has you, will soon be followed by a smile or two, then a shrug, a chuckle, your eyes begin to sparkle again, the blessing of a simple life "re-capture" you, and soon everything seems ok, again. If you lost something or someone, remember this Danoism: If you're not enough without it, you will never be enough with it. In life, I believe, we all can get what we want. If you missed it, if it went away, if you lost it, it didn't matter anyway. Another Danoism: You can't push a rope. And as my good friend, Eddie Vedder says, "It’s nothing as it seems. The little that he needs. It’s home. The little that he sees is nothing he concedes. It’s home. And all that he frees. A little bittersweet. It’s home. It’s nothing as it seems. The little that you see it’s home."

Ironically, Carry and umbrella, it never rains, wash a car, it will rain everytime... LIFE!

2006-04-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

Daily I am reminded of the ironies of life. Fall in love? Its with someone unavailable. Got money? Been there, done that, nothing to buy. Wearing a tie? Everyone else is in jeans. Got a good friend? Cancer calls. When I was a veternarian in the Air Force back in 1972-76, I was always being biten by whatever cat I was examining. Later when I was selling welding equipment and supplies (my first real job) and I was constantly getting electrical shocks from demo'ing the equipment wrong. BUT, man could I sell! Life is loaded with challenges, and if you pay close attention, life is loaded with ironies. It strikes me its for a reason. But whats the reason? I heard that as men age, they calm down. Maybe their testosterone leaves their pituitary gland and settles down in their ankles and feet, where it is basically rendered useless. If you want to talk about the weirdest thing in life, let's talk about politics - the game of spin, the game of hate mongering, the game of special interests. Someone said we are spinning out of control and heading toward the sun. Will that put all the tanning booth people out of business? Are we all going to pop out of our cars like toast someday? I guess I could fret, but instead I will poke fun at it all. Word to the wise; if you take me seriously, then you should try prozac for your own safety. Ironically, you are probably already on it. ;o) BigDog

That what you fear the most will meet you half way...

2006-04-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

You know, there is genius in music. Lyrics are there for a reason. And if we all pay close enough attention, usually "we" ARE the reason. Pearl Jam has a deep tune: Crazy Mary, in it the lyrics are, "that what you fear the most will meet you 1/2 way..." And if you think about all the challenges you ever had in life, I bet, you like me, will have at one time or another actualized them as a "fear" prior to them showing up. Am I right? Another good mimic of your life, like mine, is probably the movie: Ground Hog Day, with Bill Murray. Think about it!

Day 1, April 11, 1980

2005-04-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Day 1: April 11, 2005 - I have been writing various stories, musings, cute and funny, CRAZY & NUTTY stuff since I can remember. I heard about Blogging long ago, but today decided to create my own blog and get my "work" out on "the net" with the BigDogDano kooky thoughts and ideas. Perhaps I can make you smile, or perhaps you are merely confused, either way, here we go. So, it is, Day 1 of "my creation". (Hey who knows, maybe one day I can separate the elements create my own planet, humankind, species of animals, or start a new ice cream company? Oh and by the way, I am a music freak, so get ready to let music change your mortal soul, cause "I am music, and I write the songs.) Thought for the day: I know why Texas Hold 'Em poker is so popular now. Because there is a glut of playing cards. Why? Well, when I was a kid, we used up all the playing cards, clothespining them to our bicycle spokes, to make it sound like we had an engine rev'ing as we rode. Today kids don't do that, so there are all these extra playing cards around, and now well, adults are playing lots of poker, with them. I am pretty sure. **I looked around, and was proud, for Day 1, it was good.** Song of the Day: Crazy Mary, PJ. - "...that what you fear the most, will meet you 1/2 way..."

bigdogdano

Rowdy Boys....

We're All Living on KOLOB Time...

Ain't no socialist conspiracy...

Mountain Meadow Massacre Lives On

Scout

"jan gan bat paa huhng louh fo..."

Can you dig it?

You can't always get what you want....

And, so it is Christmas, and what have YOU done...

Scout

Present Tense...

Miley ain't so Smiley

Miley Cyrus, we *had* such hope for you...

Present Day Galdiator Games

Life goes on and on...

snow days

musings

politics, paris, and poop

let me negotiate...

IPods and iBrains...

Whats it all about, Alfie?

Rome...

Time should never be your enemy...

the new PJ cd...

When a HorseFly bites a Stallion...

Who are you? Who? Who? I really wanna know...

Boycott all concerts...

Do Overs...

A button off my Shirt...

Dano on Religion

Eat your own fleas and ticks

Who or what has you by the tail?

Ironically, Carry and umbrella, it never rains, wash a car, it will rain everytime... LIFE!

That what you fear the most will meet you half way...

Day 1, April 11, 1980

Miley Cyrus, we had such hope for you...