Who are you? Who? Who? I really wanna know...

I am reading a book; The Five Stages of the Soul. It asks the ever searing question that has troubled man throughout the ages... "Who are YOU" ?? I wish I had an answer. Sometimes I think I could answer it with "Who I wish I was..." or even "I know Who YOU are, I think..." and so it goes. What makes us all unique is, our "sum". I think we came here with alot of Who we are, and then the background and conditioning we got in our familial surroundings influence us; parents, siblings - or the lack thereof, adding in our relatives, our friends, our school chums, teachers, our worries, fears, accomplishments, on to college, the workplace, war, peace, love, marriage, singledom, neighbors, civic opportunities, and alot of what we believe spiritually/theologically. All these things, and more, make us our "sum". Each of has to suffer certain conditions. We get challenged and have to endure many things; humiliation, hurt, loss, worry, non-acceptance, loss of friends, money, and sometimes the greater challenge is that of success and fame. I wonder how fun it is to be someone famous and have no privacy? There must be a fine line between the "Fame Factor" and the cost is often that you give up freedom and peace for that Fame. Who wouldn't cross back over to the peaceful side if they could? I saw Paula Abdul interviewed recently. A beautiful, successful, accomplished woman. I may not dig her music entirely, abit boppy for me, but, she said how hard relationships are for her because of her acclaim. How sad. Today, I am grateful I am a "nobody" in terms of hollywood, or wallstreet. But I am somebody to 8 little chicklettes who call me Boo Boo. That's WHO I am.

Boycott all concerts...

I recently learned that Pearl Jam was playing in the "Gorge" this summer. PJ is one of my all time favorite bands. I was a late come to the party devotee to PJ, long after mookey blaylock, ten, mother love bone, mud honey, etc. I know well the stories of the grandma's jam, Eddie's torn adolescent life, how Stone and Jeff put it all together for bippity boppity boo, and so on. Deeper I like the genius in their work. Yeah, they are aging, so is the playlist, but I still like these guys. TONS! But I am calling for a boycott of all concerts. Not just PJ - but ALL concerts everywhere. Why? Because I refuse to pay $100 bucks to listen to some wanna-be PJ, or Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young groupie, or whomever stand next to me, and sign off key into my ears! I wanna hear the guys sing, but that's just not possible anymore. You don't go to a musical on broadway, or an opera at the met, and sit next to some "singin' in the shower" goof, now do you? So, I say, if we all boycott on the grounds of "music ruination" from the dope next to you, perhaps we can get a movement going? I mean I wouldn't mind the occasional "joining in" - but every stinkin' tune? Come on man! Give me a break. Oh and one other thing, if you think I am out in left field here, well, all I can say is, that seat next to you, I was going to sit in? Its going to be empty for a long, long time. I am done with concerts. I will say that concerts in Hollywood Bowl or at the Pier in Seattle are still cool. There you go, get your concert fix in a mellow venue. Peace!

Do Overs...

Today as I was playing golf with my pals and my son, like usual I hit an errant ball off to the right, I quickly pulled another ball from my pocket and declared, "Mulligan!" There are several historical versions of the story behind hitting a "Mulligan" - but my point here is not to wax on in history, its to take this musing one step further with something we did as kids, called a "Do Over". When I was growing up, we played alot of sports in the street, down at the grade school near my home, just about everywhere. Pick up games, grab your pals, go play ball. Football, Basketball, Baseball. We'd drop our books on our front lawn after getting off the bus from school, grab our gear, and head for a game somewhere. Of course we needed all the guys to be players, so we had no extras who would/could referee our sandlot games. Invariably, we would have fouls, disagreements, someone was upset about some infraction committed, so instead of arguing endlessly, we would simply call a "Do Over" - like a "Mulligan" and replay the down, the pitch, the shot, whatever. However the "Do Over" turned out, was how it was, AND further how it was meant to be, because we also had this Karma thing that if the "Do Over" resulted in the game leaning one way or another, then whatever caused the disagreement to begin with was sort of weighted in terms of "who was right afterall" by how the "Do Over" turned out. You get the idea. So, it dawns on me regularly, that in life we all need more "Do Overs". Times to walk away, or start fresh. Keep your team. Or find a new game. No harm. No foul. We just "Do It Over". I wonder if we could all make life more simple with such a simple way to settle things that trouble us? Boz Skaggs has a song called "Come on Home" and in that song the lyrics are in essence, "nobodys right, nobodys wrong, lets call it a draw..." Not a bad way to close doors, move on, renew, or start fresh with a "Do Over" if you ask me. Word to the wise though... If you want to take a "Mulligan", then you better be ready to give a "Mulligan" too. You can't have it both ways. Taking and no giving. The beatles said it best, "and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make..." So, go ahead, call a "Do Over" now and then. See if it doesn't make your life alittle easier, happier, more peaceful.

A button off my Shirt...

A friend of mine has been married twice, the first one, he shared children with, the second one, well, she was his perfect match - so he thought! Turns out she was weird, and it didn't last. He asked me how you move beyond pain. I have never really known pain, and if I did, I wouldn't admit to it; I have lived by the philosophy, "You can't hurt steel". Seems to work. I like music, one good song for getting over someone is; Ronnie Milsap's "Button off my Shirt". Take a gander... Fun Lyrics: "I heard the word goin' 'round town, They say that you're makin' a fool out of me, Baby it took me some time to come around, To realize you were not what you seemed. Each day's passin', the clock's been my friend, Help me get back on my feet again, Like the button off-a my shirt, just an every day distraction, You'd be over reactin' if you think that I still hurt, Your just a button off-a my shirt and someday I will replace you." So it goes. Another pal of mine, married once, his wife left him too. (What is it about my pals?) He is happy, but he has questions. Who wouldn't? So my theory about all this is: Everyday life is going to give you something that challenges you; Health, Love, Kids, Money, Angst - it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some we bring on ourselves, some others bring to us. Sometimes, its alittle of both. Life is fraught with good and bad. Enough good in your life will help you "cope" with the bad. Or, if things really suck, you can eat a popsicle. Those work too.

Dano on Religion

-----------------------RELIGION----------------------------

i am one who is prone to thinking about many things. these thoughts come from no where, and usually go back there, injuring few along the way. well, of course, except for the brain damage i give myself - that is.

religion is a funny thing to contemplate. but then, i am a funny man doing the contemplating, so here goes.

once there was a black hole. god filled it with dirt and called it earth. it was still dark there, so he turned on a big flash light, giving it daylight. at night, he shuts the light off. well he added water to the dirt, which then made mud, and ruined his shoes, so he separated the dirt from the water, calling one part land, and the other part sea. now his shoes were clean again, but all this work made his feet too warm, so he changed into some sandals.

he decided to add some fish to the water, because later when His son would be in town speaking, people would be hungry and he would take 3 fishes and feed 5,000. he also put some animals about the land, because he knew whenever he would visit las vegas, he would want to see the rodeo and watch some bull riding. and then there is the whole food chain thing, and so he finished that work so everyone else could eat someone, or something and survive. well it wasn't long before golf came along, and and god needed a golfing partner, so he created man to have a golf pal to say things like, "i bet you i can get it closest to the pin" on all the par threes. they laughed and joked alot, and spent alot of time at the country club known as Eden.

when god was leaving one day, the man, who became known as adam, the first name in the new phone book, under the A's, said, "hey god, its one thing that you beat me every day in golf, but when you leave. it's quiet and lonesome here." god thought for a moment, looked across the street at the new mall going in, and with a glimmer in his eye, said, "you know, i think i have just the thing for you."

the next morning, when adam was watching the morning news and reading the paper, he smelled something funny in the air. he looked over the fig hedges and saw an amazing sight. someone who looked abit like him, but smelled sweet and fragrant, and didn't have broad shoulders, yet did have longer hair, and smaller feet, and dainty hands, and was humming a very unfamiliar tune. music wasn't really a part of this Eden yet. the beatles were still blokes playing off polk street gigs in liverpool. Eden was looking better and better to Adam. soon this person passed by adam, and he said, "hey what are you doing here?" she said, "see that mall over there? well, soon i will be lost in there, and spend all my days trying on various fig leaves. just for fun." adam was confused. but she looked good to him, and he thought, "whatever. malls. fig leaves. i can take it. she's hot!" adam said, "hey do you have a name?" she said, "nope." adam said, "well in the alphabet, we have vowels. i am Adam from the A's, E's come next, so why don't you be Eve from the E's?" Eve said, "thats perfect, because i will be in the mall until Eve, every day."

well, so life in Eden was smooth, carefree, and not too interesting. the mall never seemed to open. the woman was always humming some unfamiliar tune, and adam lost at golf every day to God.

one day, an alice cooper tour bus that had stopped in town for gas, left the door to the living quarters open, and while everyone was in the gas'n go buying snacks and soda, out of the bus came a snake. a big, long snake, in fact, no one really knew it was a snake, because it had feet. ironically, it was wearing snake skin cowboy boots. he was doubley camoflauged!

so he walks on over to Eve and says, hey, i am new here, anything fun to do in town? Eve said, "fun? what is fun?" and it hits the snake right there and then, "she is clueless," he thinks. "uh... hey Eve, ever seen one of these?" and he is holding up some fruit, that looked kinda like an apple/pear/plum all in one. Eve shook her head, "no i don't think so." the snake hissed, saying, "try it, you'll like it." Eve says, "hey wait, isn't that the forbidden fruit?" The snake hissed louder, "nothing is forbidden if you don't want it to be. besides it will make you see, know fun." So as you guessed, Eve, well, she ate the apple/pear/plum fruit.

about that time, adam happens along, on his way to play his afternoon round of golf with God. The snake, because he was in his snake skin boots wasn't visible to adam. Eve says, "hey adam, when is the mall gonna open?" adam said, "i don't know, seems like forever, doesn't it?" Eve said, "Oh hey, by the way, try some of this fruit, and if you like I will make a pie for dinner tonight out of it." Adam hesitated, but then thought about having pie. What is pie? Sounds yummy, and he had never had pie before, and it sounded so good. So he ate. "Eve!" he exclaimed, "you look great! before you only smelled great, but now for some reason YOU LOOK GREAT!" Eve said, "you know adam, i never noticed this before, but you are strong looking, muscular, and have a sexy chisled jaw. lets make out!"

all of a sudden, god appears. and he is fairly bent out of shape, because adam didn't show up for golf on time, and God asks, "adam? what are you doing?" adam, now drooling over Eve said, "sorry about the golf, but get a load of Eve!" the snake steps out and shows himself. god says, "hey snake, what have you done?" the snake said, "oh you know, alittle of this, a little of that." god is clearly ticked and says, "ok snake, you're losing the boots! slither and slide from now on pal, you just lost me my golf partner, and i am very unhappy. live on your belly now, snake, and GET LOST!" the snake was bootless, footless, and slithered back to the alice cooper bus. When alice cooper sees the snake, he said, "hey wheres my snake skin boots? And get up off the floor! ok, snake, from now on you will work as a prop in the show!"

as God is still ticked, adam says, "what? no more golf?" god says, "no sorry adam, no, that you can see Eve is naked, its going to ruin everything. you will want to make out all the time and be late for golf, so, well. i am gonna have to send you two on your way. no more eden."

adam puts his arm around Eve, as they walk out of the place known as Eden, and says, "don't worry, honey. the mall will open soon, and i hear there will be a store there called victorias secret, and you can cover up in something lacey, sexy, and semi decent." Eve was grinning about the prospects. but she had heard nothing about victoria secrets, but had heard about nordstroms, and that was enticing!

as they left, Adam and Eve turned to eden for one last look. god was sad looking, but knew this was better for everyone. adam asked, "so, this is really it, huh, god?" god said, "yes, but don't worry in 9 mos + 13 years you will have your first teenager, and you will start praying, and we'll get to know each other again." Adam looked at Eve, and she at him, and he said, "what the heck is a teenager?" Eve said, "well, i don't know, but it can't be all that bad, because God said we will find him again. I mean how hard can it be? what do you think, a teenager will kill someone?" they both chuckled, and walked off to the mall, which was now open.

well, the snake still doesn't have legs, he is still doing alice cooper reunion shows. the mall is still open. in fact, there are malls everywhere. cane killed able. apples, pears, and plums are now all separate fruits. teenagers make us all find religion. and golf is still a rotten, silly, ruthless game.

centuries of confusion have come and gone, but one thing is clear, well maybe two things. (1) adam had no clue what he got us all in to, oh yes, we can blame it on Eve, but really, its not a bad life knowing how sweet things can be, and sweeter still from how bitter and sour so many things can also be. but we see their differences at least, and have a clue when life is good. - and- (2) eve still looks great after a couple hundred bucks spent in victoria secrets, doesn't she?

i don't know what color the smoke at the vatican is, but i do know that if any of the above "dano" dissertation on religion is false or misleading, well, you can blame me for sure, just remember insanity is a real plea! DDD

Eat your own fleas and ticks

Last time I was at the Zoo, I noticed the primates (big word for monkeys, baboons, gorillas-maybe not gorillas, as this could be a mafia term, seems to me i heard that term in GodFather I, II, and III?) and they were enjoying an afternoon of picking through each other's fur coats and eating little morsels of something or other. I asked the Zoo person (big word for girl in brown uniform who appeared to be employed there) what they were doing? She said, "Oh they keep each other clean from fleas and ticks by helping each other out like that. They search through their coats (big word for fur) find the little critters and eat them for each other." To me they seemed bored with this grooming activity, like nothing else was on the Human TV they were watching, as *we* humans all paraded past their habitats (big word for cages) gawking at their personal hygene habits. I then wondered when man ever got the notion to stop eating the fleas and ticks off of other men, and when man decided to open up a styling salon (big word formerly meaning, "we will eat your fleas and ticks for free) and began charging $money$ to give ourselves swank hair-dos and looks like; duck tails, perms, streaking, or the ever needed and oh so stylish comb-over? Which took me to my next thought, if man is so smart and apes aren't, how come they have hair and we don't? Did man ask God one day, "God, can I move up the food chain in the intelligent sphere of life?" And God replied, "Sure, but it'll cost you hair..." So, as I left the primate (big word for flea eaters) exhibit I was left with this thought, *I think it's really an obsessive compulsive disorder we give these primate fellows by locking them up in there* and if I was one of them, I would smack my pal Barney the Baboon and say, "Knock it off, eat your own fleas and ticks!" Besides I think those Baboon guys should spend some time inventing pants for those red butts they have. I mean if you're gonna sit around all day, do something worthwhile. Yeah! Like invent pants!

Who or what has you by the tail?

There are many experiences and events in life that come and go (pay attention to "go" ;o) where you feel someone or something has you by the tail and hard as you might run, claw, scramble to skee-daddle and get away, well, you just feel "captured". Okay, first of all, I guarantee you "whatever" it is, if you stand back from "it" and look at it apart from the personal aspects of it, you will see "it" laced with irony. Which is good! Because seeing the irony in whatever has you, will soon be followed by a smile or two, then a shrug, a chuckle, your eyes begin to sparkle again, the blessing of a simple life "re-capture" you, and soon everything seems ok, again. If you lost something or someone, remember this Danoism: If you're not enough without it, you will never be enough with it. In life, I believe, we all can get what we want. If you missed it, if it went away, if you lost it, it didn't matter anyway. Another Danoism: You can't push a rope. And as my good friend, Eddie Vedder says, "It’s nothing as it seems. The little that he needs. It’s home. The little that he sees is nothing he concedes. It’s home. And all that he frees. A little bittersweet. It’s home. It’s nothing as it seems. The little that you see it’s home."

Ironically, Carry and umbrella, it never rains, wash a car, it will rain everytime... LIFE!

Daily I am reminded of the ironies of life. Fall in love? Its with someone unavailable. Got money? Been there, done that, nothing to buy. Wearing a tie? Everyone else is in jeans. Got a good friend? Cancer calls. When I was a veternarian in the Air Force back in 1972-76, I was always being biten by whatever cat I was examining. Later when I was selling welding equipment and supplies (my first real job) and I was constantly getting electrical shocks from demo'ing the equipment wrong. BUT, man could I sell! Life is loaded with challenges, and if you pay close attention, life is loaded with ironies. It strikes me its for a reason. But whats the reason? I heard that as men age, they calm down. Maybe their testosterone leaves their pituitary gland and settles down in their ankles and feet, where it is basically rendered useless. If you want to talk about the weirdest thing in life, let's talk about politics - the game of spin, the game of hate mongering, the game of special interests. Someone said we are spinning out of control and heading toward the sun. Will that put all the tanning booth people out of business? Are we all going to pop out of our cars like toast someday? I guess I could fret, but instead I will poke fun at it all. Word to the wise; if you take me seriously, then you should try prozac for your own safety. Ironically, you are probably already on it. ;o) BigDog

That what you fear the most will meet you half way...

You know, there is genius in music. Lyrics are there for a reason. And if we all pay close enough attention, usually "we" ARE the reason. Pearl Jam has a deep tune: Crazy Mary, in it the lyrics are, "that what you fear the most will meet you 1/2 way..." And if you think about all the challenges you ever had in life, I bet, you like me, will have at one time or another actualized them as a "fear" prior to them showing up. Am I right? Another good mimic of your life, like mine, is probably the movie: Ground Hog Day, with Bill Murray. Think about it!