Present Tense...

we should all live our lives in the present tense. life is fleeting and comes down to relationships. all of us have things we wish we could change about our lives. do you have regrets? i do. someone once said, "the older you get, its not the things you did in life you regret, its the things you didn't do." pearl jam sings a song called: *present tense*. i like this song alot, because usually the things in life that hold us back, hold us down, are things about our own self that are in our head. sometimes others have done something to us that we can't let go of, but mostly, if you dig around in it you will really see that it is what we think about ourselves that keeps us trapped. the lyrics to the PJ song are: "you can live your life alone, redigesting past regrets, or... you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who *can* forgive yourself..." curious in the second verse the word *can* is changed to *cannot*. its about you *can* and you *cannot* - either way, its up to YOU! its also curious to me that to really to see yourself; it comes down to how we really DO see ourselves. most people really forgive and forget about you and things you did or didn't do. but can *we* really forgive and forget things about ourselves? i was once held hostage by something someone said and did to me in 1972. for over 34 years i was helf down by this incident. when i finally realized i was using this experience to carve this person up when i could, i wrote a letter asking them to forgive me. why would i do that? i was not the offender. yet, i had become such time after time, using that moment so long ago to carry my martyr's axe. as soon as i dropped my letter in the mailbox to this person, asking them to forgive me, it was as if 2 elephants who had been standing on my chest walked away. it was *that* stark of a feeling of release and relief for me. in the new testament; mark 12:31 tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. if you don't like yourself, let alone love yourself, how on earth can you like or love anyone else? you can't. the danoism of like and love is based upon one's personal foundation. how you feel about you is integral to your core. some people who do not like themselves eat until they become obese. some judge others all the time. some shop and buy things they don't need. some are always at the gym. some are meticuloous cleaners and don't like people eating in their cars. some never can trust you. some seem to hate everyone and everything. some self loathe and become stand up comedians. there are many varities of ways that we manifest how we really feel about ourselves. one good way to get on the path to liking and loving others, and feeling that we really do like and love *me* - *myself* -and- *i* is to serve others. bake some cookies and drop them randomly at someone's house you would never usually do this for. drop a friendship card in the mail to someone you admire who is alone. go mow the lawn of the widow on the corner. stop at the hospital on your way home and drop goodie baskets to the kids in the burn center, or cans of powdered formula to all the single moms with babies in the maternity ward. 100's of people within 1 mile of you need someone. find them, do something for them, you will feel better about you. i think when we die and we face our Savior, he will ask us about ourselves, and about all our relationships. i don't think he will ask much about mistakes we made. i don't think life is about a scorecard. 28 bad things, to 24 good things. we already have that part down. but if we start today, liking YOU for who YOU ARE, you can pass this along to others. its the best contagious thing i know. start today, truly, the next 70 years will be more terrific because you did!